(1:35:19 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (6:35:45 PM): shyt ma momma not pickin up da phone
SevenStar X (6:37:12 PM): niggerz hav unleashed an emp in da city
SevenStar X (6:37:18 PM): all communicationz hav been serverd
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:03 PM): lmfao
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:10 PM): mAyun
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:16 PM): dat shud b how a flashhhhhhhh goez
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:25 PM): niggerz release da emp
dchappelleshow3 (6:38:45 PM): all of los angeles has no communication except for gang signz
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:14 PM): and a young man has to learn da gangsta wayz to save LA
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:32 PM): othawise da bloodz are gonna executed da dodgers starting lineup
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:40 PM): and kershaw
dchappelleshow3 (6:39:58 PM): mayun kershaw has a gun to his head as we speak
dchappelleshow3 (6:40:22 PM): and thurr beatin da shit outta furcal and callin him wetback./ spic
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:00 PM): and den
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:07 PM): da onlay people
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:10 PM): who know da code
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:32 PM): to da goldmine underneath la
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:39 PM): are da dodgerz
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:44 PM): but they aren’t speakin
dchappelleshow3 (6:42:57 PM): they’re bein tortured…
(1:35:30 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (6:43:11 PM): they gotta watch re runs of tha bravez winnin da pennant
dchappelleshow3 (6:43:36 PM): da san francisco 49erz neva found da gold mine cuz it waz rly in LA
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:25 PM): but it just so happenz
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:32 PM): that rocco baldelli can help us out
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:45 PM): he’s an experienced sniper
dchappelleshow3 (6:44:52 PM): he’s a seasoned veteran, we shall say…
dchappelleshow3 (6:45:15 PM): and he is toting a barret 50cal with niggers names on da bullets
dchappelleshow3 (6:46:09 PM): we also have jerry sandusky drivin a tank with wayne brady at the helm of the gun
dchappelleshow3 (8:51:46 PM): mr peterson…
dchappelleshow3 (8:51:47 PM): yes?
dchappelleshow3 (8:51:58 PM): we have a hostage situation
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:04 PM): Who’s the hostage?
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:14 PM): Sir…
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:23 PM): Who is it god damnit?!?
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:26 PM): they have him
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:29 PM): WHO?
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:34 PM): Clayton…
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:40 PM): and the whole squad
dchappelleshow3 (8:52:46 PM): Oh my god
dchappelleshow3 (8:53:12 PM): Do we have hostage negotiators?
dchappelleshow3 (8:53:45 PM): Sir..;. we don’t negotiate with terroits… these ruthless nappy head hunters are the baddest of the bad… they are… the bloods
dchappelleshow3 (8:54:00 PM): Oh my gosh
(1:35:39 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“childchode” dudestarzx) anyone want a shoutout
(1:35:42 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (8:54:45 PM): We are currently assembling a team to take down the terroists
dchappelleshow3 (8:55:06 PM): I have taken the liberty to contact elite members of the Crips Brotherhood of America
dchappelleshow3 (8:55:27 PM): They’re on our side, chief
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:26 PM): You will meet with Slim Locc at the crack of dawn tomorrow to scrape up a plan
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:31 PM): next day
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:40 PM): Hey, is this the Slim locc residence
dchappelleshow3 (8:56:52 PM): Halt, who goes there, stranger?
dchappelleshow3 (8:57:17 PM): I am detective Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota task force
dchappelleshow3 (8:57:35 PM): Yo wat u tryin to do, B
dchappelleshow3 (8:57:54 PM): I want what you want… I wanna take these bastards down
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:12 PM): YOU WANT WHAT I WANT?
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:36 PM): goddamnit you wanna know wat i want?!?
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:40 PM): I was fucking justice
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:50 PM): they killed ma nigga tookie
dchappelleshow3 (8:58:55 PM): *i want
dchappelleshow3 (8:59:26 PM): Tookie? He deserved what he got and he got justice all right
dchappelleshow3 (9:00:06 PM): WHAT THE FUCK DO U KNO ABOUT JUSTICE, UR JUST A SLAVE OF SOCIETY… UR JuST A SCOUNDREL TRYIN TO GET THE LEFTOVER SCRAPS AT A BUTCHER SHop
dchappelleshow3 (9:00:35 PM): UR THE LEFTOVER SESAME SEEDS THAT FELL OFF A HAMBURGER BUn
(1:35:54 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:01:03 PM): woh woh woh… i’m sorry about ur friend, but that doesn’t have anything to do with the situation
dchappelleshow3 (9:02:00 PM): mr peterson… have u ever lost a dear friend… a friend who really cared for you and would always give u the last popsicle in the box?… tookie was that friend for me… and i miss him
dchappelleshow3 (9:02:35 PM): i’m sorry for your loss, slim but if we work together we can take down the Bloods Terroist Organization
dchappelleshow3 (9:02:56 PM): R u ready to take them down?
dchappelleshow3 (9:03:06 PM): HELL YEAH LETZ GET STRAPPED, B
dchappelleshow3 (9:03:15 PM): meanwhile in compton…
dchappelleshow3 (9:04:15 PM): CLAYTON WAT”Z UP LIL FUCK FACE LIL PRETTY BOY R U THE GOLDEN BOY OF THE DODGERS U LIL SHITHEAD? LEMME PAINT A PICTURE FOR YOu… A LEFT HANDED PITCHER WITH A SPOON IN HIS ASS
dchappelleshow3 (9:04:44 PM): wat do u want for me? i’m just a left handed superstar pitcher who throws in the mid 90
dchappelleshow3 (9:04:46 PM): s
dchappelleshow3 (9:05:11 PM): you are gonna tell us how to get in the fujita gold mine
dchappelleshow3 (9:05:24 PM): wat r u talkin about i don’t kno about .. ?
dchappelleshow3 (9:05:45 PM): AHHHH GODDAMN NIGGER *puts hot cigarette on kershaw’s forehead
dchappelleshow3 (9:06:15 PM): YOU SON OF A BITCH I”M GONNA THROW A FOUR SEEM RIGHT THROUGH UR DOME
dchappelleshow3 (9:07:10 PM): AHA ur makin threats?… well it looks like that masking tape around ur wrists is holdin u up in a jam
dchappelleshow3 (9:08:01 PM): we can either kill u and ur gold glove shortstop… or u will give us access to da mine
dchappelleshow3 (9:08:48 PM): meanwhile
dchappelleshow3 (9:08:58 PM): HEY HOW U LIKE IT SPIC
dchappelleshow3 (9:09:10 PM): HOW TO LIKE GETTIN SPRAYED WIT WATER, WETBACK HAHAHA
dchappelleshow3 (9:09:20 PM): HOW U LIKE MA SUPERSOAKER XL 2000 BEYOCH
dchappelleshow3 (9:10:08 PM): come on guys i’m just an honest man tryin to make a livin… all i want is to be famous and make a seven figure salary to play my favorite game
dchappelleshow3 (9:10:49 PM): AHAA Ur Nothin compared to cal ripkin
dchappelleshow3 (9:11:19 PM): den while diz is goin on
(1:35:58 AM) loogie a 707: lmfao
(1:36:04 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:11:41 PM): brett favre is throwin grenades at the super elite gangster fortress
dchappelleshow3 (9:12:27 PM): jamarcus russell is out there shootin tek 9s until he fumbles his guns and ammunition n gets shot thru da heart
dchappelleshow3 (9:13:51 PM): jamarcus sez to jerry sandusky… they took ma heart jerr, dey took ma heart
dchappelleshow3 (9:14:02 PM): and jerry whispers… i will remember you
dchappelleshow3 (9:14:29 PM): an den an angel falls frum da sky and starts singin “I willllllll remember you….. will you remember meeee don’t let ur love pass u by…. “
dchappelleshow3 (9:14:37 PM): an den jamarcus passes away
dchappelleshow3 (9:15:50 PM): den jerry sandusky picks up an ak-47 and shoots 10 niggers that are tryin to snipe but keep missin cuz they’re holdin da sniper sideways
dchappelleshow3 (9:16:59 PM): mr peterson… i need you to put this c4 on da door and blast it open
dchappelleshow3 (9:17:44 PM): adrian takez da c4 in his bicep and is runnin to da doo,r jukin bullets and doin spin moves around land mines
dchappelleshow3 (9:18:32 PM): an den da blood witches summon da nfc championship ghost
dchappelleshow3 (9:19:01 PM): and da ghost whispers in adrian’s ear… “chicken livers” and he fumbles the c4
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:02 PM): den he picks up n dropz it again
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:13 PM): he finally getz it and pastes it on da door
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:22 PM): he’z liEk I GOT IT!
dchappelleshow3 (9:20:29 PM): and when’z he turnz away
dchappelleshow3 (9:21:09 PM): dan Marino sez U GOTTA TAKE THE CHILD SECURITY LOCK OFF FIRST
dchappelleshow3 (9:21:28 PM): and den h’ez liek shyt woopsiez and setz it up n it explodez
dchappelleshow3 (9:21:54 PM): da squad runz n da fortress with gunz a blazin shootin every nigger in the red dot sight
dchappelleshow3 (9:22:24 PM): but before dey get too far…
(1:36:15 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:22:43 PM): jesse jackson is waiting for them with a gun turret and shootz dat front line of da squad
dchappelleshow3 (9:23:17 PM): jesse jackson thinkz he has dem all…
dchappelleshow3 (9:24:02 PM): an den jackie chan does 3 flipz and a cartwheel and puts a throwin knife in jesse’s throat
dchappelleshow3 (9:24:43 PM): da squad killz a bunch of niggerz in gun fightz and they are outside of the gangster bat cave
dchappelleshow3 (9:24:49 PM): about to break in
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:02 PM): when all of da sudden
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:16 PM): clayton ripz his armz free from da masking tape
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:28 PM): and he triez to run away
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:40 PM): an den
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:45 PM): da squad breaks thru
dchappelleshow3 (9:25:55 PM): and da leader of da bloods…….
dchappelleshow3 (9:26:26 PM): Paul Pierce
dchappelleshow3 (9:26:45 PM): puts a gun to the head of Shawn Kemp
dchappelleshow3 (9:27:06 PM): and everybody’z liek
dchappelleshow3 (9:28:03 PM): WOH SHAWN KEMP?!? The nba superstar who led the Sonics to outstanding regular season records but could never defeat the mighty chicago bulls led by michael jordan, scottie pippen, dennis rodman, and tony kukoc?!?
dchappelleshow3 (9:28:23 PM): anybody but him leave that poor boy alone
(1:36:21 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“uffie of course” charlotzx) god damn it all!! FUCK
(1:36:25 AM) [fleshlite syndicate]: (“Colonel Stringray Johnson” sevenstarx)
dchappelleshow3 (9:28:59 PM): Paul Pierce- Do you know how fucking good a shooter i am inside the paint? i won’t miss from this close
dchappelleshow3 (9:29:54 PM): Gives us mr kemp this is the end of the road ear pierce hyuck hyuck hyuck
dchappelleshow3 (9:30:34 PM): Very funny Bob Turk, the news channel 13 weather man for the baltimore urban and metropolitan area
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:14 PM): This gun is loaded with a full metal jacket, you see… and that will penetrate the useless brain of mr kemp and then, some
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:26 PM): but for now i shall make my departure TA TAH
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:36 PM): NOOOOOOOO YOU FUCKING NIGGER GET BACK HERE SHITHEAD!
dchappelleshow3 (9:31:54 PM): ‘and paul tries to get away he makez a run for it and shawn getz away
dchappelleshow3 (9:33:04 PM): and den the favorite pet monkey of the bloods throws a banana peel on the floor and paul slipz on it and den getz shot with 72 roundz from assault rifles, and is also blown to bits with mortars and grenades
dchappelleshow3 (9:33:20 PM): the end
\
dchappelleshow3 (9:37:18 PM): there is also a scene where the bloods are playin russian roulette with Jesse Orosco and David Ortiz
Latest
eli porter lyrics REPOST
I got one question, man: tell me who’s next! This nigga salt-looking nigga who be getting the best.
-pause-
I’m the best man; I did it.
See, I let you know I’m the best, by the hour. It’s like Rosie O’Donnell at a bisexual bridal shower.
It ain’t nothing to me man. I keep it for real. Look at these gleams, man, with dent on the grill.
See, I’m the best. I Told you that! This dude like that: he running from the cat.
No, I messed up, but I’m going to stay on top. They told me, man, but you know, I’m never going to flop.
Look at this dude, he need to stay in the shade. Ain’t no wonder why he came out – he’s already in the gay parade!
I told you man: I got you roasted like ever. You don’t know, but my rhymes – they straight up clever.
So you step off the pedestal. I’m the best man, you need to go the fucking dental.
i said freakin
chrome shorts
see the films
ARMANDO GALARRAGA PERFECT GAME
HE’S PERFECT
eli porter’s revenge
when is it? 2010? 2012? 2014 super bowl new york?
lady gaga has been cheating on everyone
breaking news out of america: pop sensation stefani germanotta “lady” gaga has been secretly cheating on everyone. when asked about it, gaga’s agent said, “well, you see, she’s on the road a lot, and i mean, look at all those male dancers she has on stage with her… but, yeah, the bitch cheated on me too.”
one college sophomore from poland noted, “i thought she was taking a ride on only my disco stick… man, was i wrong.”
even her female fans have been cheated on, as she is bisexual in perhaps the loosest meaning of the term. even a man known only has gentleman gaga has had his heart crushed.
EVERYTHING IS CHROME DECADE IN REVIEW
2010 is here somehow so that means we all have a clean masturbation slate.
anyway it’s time to review the past ten years:
2000 – who let the dogs out, y2k, what else is there to say? I can’t really remember what happened here very well, i mean i was a 4th and 5th grader. well, the year started off with what remains one of my most crushing childhood defeats: the titans lost the super bowl, and thus began my modern expectations of disappointment. for america, this year was all about double dare 2000.
2001 – not a whole lot happened until about 9 months into it. i can barely remember anything except the last three months of this year. i was very pissed at my grade school seeing as that they did a damned good job of hiding 9/11 from us, and this was back before internet 2.0 so none of us knew about it until we got home. they hid that from us for 5 hours… anyway, the yankees somehow fucked up the world series and then not much else happened. oh wait, george harrison smoked his ass to death. that was kinda lame but predictable.
2002 – george lucas did his best to try to save the world from star wars episode 1, but the result wasn’t that much better except for the eye candy. also barry bonds started publicly sucking dick for cocaine at about this point. also, 7th grade started. that really sucked.
2003 – saddam hussein would have a much better time if he had just like, you know, not been so dumb or something. i don’t know, 8th grade didnt suck so bad but wasnt really memorable. these years are starting to blur together. i think this is when the black eyed peas started being popular or something.
2004 – if there ever was a forgettable year, this was it. oh wait, so was 2005 and 2006.
Somewhere in 2005, youtube hit the internet and officially murdered what is now known as internet 1.0. now no one has to get on kazaa to watch star wars kid. later, this website would essentially monopolize the internet putting such faggotry as ebaumsworld out of business. unfortunately, 4chan would soon fill the necessary faggotry void and doesn’t seem to be letting go of it any time soon.
star wars episode 3 almost redeemed george lucas. almost. wait no it didnt.
2007 – i went to japan for a month and experienced the biggest reverse culture shock ever known to man. when i came back in late july, i passed out for a week because of the reverse jet lag. when i awoke, suddenly soulja boy was popular and everyone was doing the gayest dance since the macarena, electric slide, casper slide whatever the fuck. i lost a lot of faith in americans when this happened. i nominate soulja boy for biggest talentless fucker of the decade.
2008 – this year was pretty rad. i started college which was pretty cool and had a lot of fun drinking while playing left 4 dead. barack obama decided to be a party pooper with his blank rhetoric and well the economy kind of took a shit too. yeah blagojevich and bernie madoff were kind of gay too. gay gay gay gay gay GAY GAY GAY gay.
2009 – damn this year is already over… well, i saw the flaming lips spew out more confetti than the stock market in 1929. over the summer i got a job in minor league baseball, and well i can say that i’m not going to do that again.
YEAH SO as it seems, the 2000s were kind of stupid after all and really lame, but never has it been more tasteful to make hurricane katrina jokes.
EVERYTHING IS CHROME’S PERSON OF THE YEAR:
eli porter
sometime in the mid 2000s, eli porter participated in the iron mic II challenge. he lost to envy in a controversial 2-1 decision, but hip hop has never been the same since the recorded video hit the youtubes.
it’s time to chrome: the gerst haus kinda sucks
i figure i should actually start using this chrome website more considering it gets about 100 views a week of people googling for eli porter lyrics. so here we go, more chrome for you. also some of you people need to stop talking.
every once in a while there comes a time in a little white boys life where he;s like “why am i so white.” notice that wasn’t a question.
if i remember from the fourth grade ancestry project, i’m some weird kind of blend of german, british, french and either irish or italian i can’t remember the flag’s colors.
so today i decided to try the gerst house german booze hall near lp field. yeah so it was horrendously understaffed on what a tuesday night????? how am i supposed to get my german food on if i have to wait when there are empty tables out?
so i order the most german looking thing on the menu, the schwine schnitzel, and it was pretty bland tasting. maybe i’d have to be chugging on some grog to truly appreciate, because that’s pretty much all it tasted like: bar food.
the applesauce is clearly mott’s applesauce from the grocery. it’s kind of sad when the spaetzle or rye bread is the most flavorful thing on the menu. SO TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT: where are some other german restaurants in this town????
where’s the chrome
where’d all the chrome go
Sam
starberryzx
g2-fe9e73d76533c9abb800abcd84278490